When Cops are caught at the wrong end of the stick….

Yesterday my friend Kartik encountered one of the most hackneyed incidents happening on Indian roads – Breaching the rough side of the law and getting caught by a traffic cop. Apparently he too like many of us had to grease the palm of the “lucky” constable and scoot off from the scene, where the delinquent act was committed.

Often people, including me, wonder why is it that it’s the common people who are caught pants down in such scenario while influential breed move around scot-free. However my bewilderment didn’t last too long when I realized that on couple of occasions ,when I had rendezvous with the protectors of law, I managed to turn the table around. It was more about the wits, luck and presence of mind rather than any bravado which helped me hoodwink the premonition written in thin air.

One such incident happened a year or so ago. After my office hours, I decided to make a casual visit towards northern part of Chennai- Egmore. Engrossed in exploring the area and enjoying the dinner I didn’t realize, it was pretty late to return to my house . I was completely exhausted after yet another taxing day.With a laptop dangling on my shoulder, I trudged along the pedestrian lane to catch the bus for Velachery. As my luck had it, I didn’t have to wait for too long and found a fairly empty bus for Saidapet which was mid way between Egmore and Velachery.

I sank myself on one of the far end window seat reflecting on my day that passed by. At next stop, couple more passengers boarded the bus along with a cop. Perhaps, my conspicuous appearance enticed the policeman to take the next seat that of mine. As the bus accelerated, the cop threw first jibe at me in Tamil. Those days my understanding of Tamil was as good as my knowledge about Latin or Greek. I tried to ignore his physical presence and turned my face away from him.

The stink coming from his mouth suggested that he was drunk. I presume my nonchalant behavior hurt his domineering ego and instigated the fire in his belly. Within few moments he again said something to me in Tamil which I blissfully ignored. The bus sped through the empty lane towards the Mount road. The Cop’s temper, catalyzed by alcohol he consumed, flared up, resonating with the frequency that of the bus engine. He held my hand firmly and demanded to know in broken English what was there in the black bag, pointing towards the lap top that I carried.

Irritated with his meddling business I shoved my hand away and said in stern manner “It’s none of your business”. I think I stretched my luck a bit too far. Till that point in my life I never had one to one with any policeman. Perhaps I never knew the repercussion of messing up with a cop, never knew what exactly it feels like when you tickle their nerves. The Cop was slightly taken aback my foolishness rather than audacity. Anyhow it surely shot up the mercurial temper that he carried. In full throttle he started chiding me , occasionally pushing my lap top , brushing my shoulder, scowling at me. In broken English he finally threatened,” I want to frisk you. I will show you what my business is. We will get down at the next police station. I demand an explanation about the content inside this bag.”

Seeing the scuffle going on, the bus conductor and few passengers came for my rescue. They tried to persuade the Cop to leave me. However, the Cop’s pristine ego made him more adamant to teach me a lesson. The realization embarked upon me a bit too late that I had landed myself in a big soup. I had already set the cat amongst the pigeons. Now it was the time to reconcile and save my skin .I showed my company ID, opened my lap top bag, explained him that I am coming from office and that’s why I was carrying this lap top. An elderly angelic soul put my case forward in Tamil to the Cop. Somehow his words seemed to calm the flared up policeman.

After lot of persuasion from fellow passengers including the bus conductor, the cop cooled down and accepted my plea. The matter was over and the cop settled back in his seat. The bus crossed the Chennai Central and headed towards Spencer Plaza. I was fuming with rage and anger more on my stupidity than on Cop’s enactment The Cop turned around and asked,” Where do you live?”

I mumbled,” V…Velachery”

“What is your father?”

“ J..Judge..he is a judge, Sir..” I squeaked.

I first thought he didn’t listen to what I said. But then hearing the word “Judge”, he somehow got off balance. There was a distinct change in his tone and voice from thereon. Now his broken Tamil/English combo was replaced with more polished English. He started bridging the gap with a diplomatic lecture that I shouldn’t be venturing out with such expensive electronic items so late in the night. Chennai is not all that safe.Blah..Blah..

The rage within me somehow was replaced with a sense of crookedness. The prankster of good old college days decided to hit back with vengeance. After all what will the world say if they come to know that the son of a Judge is bullied by an ordinary cop. Perhaps it was my ego’s turn to strike. Sensing that he was drunk I decided to play my game

I said,” So... you know, he is a high court Judge in Chennai.”

Admittedly, my dad hadn’t seen this neck of the woods till that time.

“What?? I’m sorry son…I mean..he is high court judge in Chennai.” The cop responded in mellowed voice.

“ Yes.. and today there is a party in my house where top officials are coming.My dad is going to be very disappointed seeing me late. You have to escort me so that I can tell him what all you did?” I said in firm voice.
Now my co passengers again turned around sensing another drama brewing up.They say lightning doesn’t strike twice. That day shower of lightning struck on the head of poor constable. The affect of alcohol seemed to vanish in thin air. Now he was at my mercy.

“You are like my son…dear..I have a son who is as old as you are..” The Cop started

“So what…today you have to come with me to my house..” I was firm on my stance.

“Son…I am a lowly constable…I never wanted to get into this police force. I was a singer and dancer in my village…But destiny had its own ways and I had to forfeit my ambition and accept this job. I am very poor son…I just got drunk and told you several things…I never intended it..” The constable cut loose his whole story within a minute.

The passengers now seemed to enjoy the dramatic turn around in the events.

“Ok..ok…let me think…..hmm…so you sing??” I asked

“Yes son…I know carnatic music, I know to dance too…I can sing film songs, I can dance like Rajni..” The cop replied.

Smiling within myself, I decided to have just a bit more of fun.” You have to prove it…only then I can leave you...” I said ,faking a stern voice.

“Sure…sure son…I will go near the front seat so that everybody can hear..” , before he could complete the sentence …he was off at the centre of the “stage”

Even the bus conductor seemed to relish the prospect of entertainment from a city constable.

As the bus crossed the Gemini flyover, the cop started singing in his hoarse voice. The passengers complemented him with foot tap ans claps. The cop’s performance continued for ten minutes. When the bus entered T.Nagar, the conductor announced the passengers boarding down at Saidapet to get ready. The words from the conductor seemed to give a slap at the back of the constable’s head. He came rushing towards me explaining that he had to get down at Chennai Central itself which was 15 km from Saidapet. In this whole confusion he missed his stop.

He folded his hand and asked for final reprieve. In no mood to dally with any more danger I gave him “permission” to board down at T.Nagar. He breezed towards the exit gate. Before one could say Jack Robinson, he was off.Once he got down, the entire bus was full of laughter and claps. I shyly grinned at one of my fellow passengers.

Perhaps seeing a Cop facing the wrong end of the stick was a pleasant experience for them than the ordeal they faced for many years