The Legacy of Raagamallika Resumes...IV

Of Bhatia’s Tour de Loo and Addy’s nightly adventures...

Saturdays and Sundays at A-1 Raagamallika use to be mixed bag for the foursome. The day started praying that Electricity people spare them from weekly maintenance, give them respite from the sultry heat of Chennai. Yet invariably the Saturdays passed by cursing, begging electricity people to restore normalcy. The sweat laden long mane of Bhatia, drooping nose of Chawla , drenched naked torso of Addy and oomph display of vital anatomical statistics of Party in extreme corner of the room made an idyllic description of their romantic tale with heat of Chennai.

Chennai in a way is one of the most distinct cities in the world. With beaches, wide roads, humble people and extraordinary ability to remain peaceful in spite of being a metro sets it apart from rest of the nation. Either you hate it for its hostile climate /food or you love it for its qualities. There is no mid way to this romanticism. Yet for the foursome the love- hate relationship with Chennai often fluctuated faster than a feminine mood swings.

Evenings often turned out to be a pleasant onset to the weekend plans. With weather shedding its ferocity , the stroll use to be directed towards Sathyam theatre to catch the latest Bollywood flick or towards Beasent Nagar beach to catch that bite of chicken and Aate di Roti at Dhaaba Express. On one such occasion Bhatia’s appetite gave even likes of Party a run for the money.

Perhaps days of forced starvation ‘cause of sulking office lunch had increased beast within his tummy by quantum leap. Finally after finishing the third course of the evening, Bhatia called the quits.One of the last ambition now left was to crash on those stinky pillows in the cozy air conditioned room of Raagamallika. Chawla, Bhatia and Party walked back to the nearest bus stop at Mount Road to catch the earliest shuttle back to Raagamallika. However, the restive alimentary canal of Bhatia evoked the first signal of revolt as they boarded the bus.
Hang On!! There is something wrong

“Pressure ban raha hai yaar!!!” Bhatia’s mellowed voice squeaked

Chawla and Party gave a grin sensing something impending happening and about to smell. However they had full faith in Bhatia’s ability to control the violent pressure, now entered the alley of his small intestine ,till they reach home. As the bus gained speed Bhatia swayed from one side to other just to give the pressure built in his tummy some extra compartment so that it doesn’t give him red blushes. Midway through the trip , the bus stopped at a traffic signal near Saidapet. The last drop of atheist quality in Bhatia gave in that day. He prayed and prayed really hard for the bus to move forward so that he can rush to the loo. Perhaps all the sins that he committed over the years came out in form of sweat from his forehead, eyes ,nose, ears.

The bus didn’t budge an inch.Every second seem an eternity for Bhatia. The pressure now started giving a Zidanesque kick to the last end of his alimentary canal – The Goal Post. Bhatia gave a sideways grin to Party and said

“Yaar…I can’t control it now!!”

The humane qualities within Party somehow rise amazingly when he sees any of his friends in real despair situation. The motivational guru within him persuaded Bhatia to hold on that extra bit for few more minutes, show that resolve of Dravid to stand like a wall, be like a Wall. But it all fell in deaf ears. The kick of Pressure ,now about to burst, must be giving even the likes of Pascal and Bernoulli an extra incentive to come back on earth and study its phenomenon inside Bhatia’s tube

Finally Chawla and Party decided to give Bhatia a leeway. They boarded down at Saidapet bus stand. As Bhatia struggled to stand , Chawla rushed around in search of a secluded place where Bhatia can relieve himself while Party zoomed to the nearest Confectionary story to get a bottle of Aqua Fina/ Bisleri so that Bhatia’s Goal Post can be washed once the pressure finds its natural outlet.

After frenetic search Chawla managed to find an isolated place near a railway yard. Party pushed sloth-like-unwalkable-figure to its destination and left him to relieve himself. Fifteen minutes of bombardment and fusillade of noise and gun shot like Bhatia’s dung had purified the railway track. The entire atmosphere bore a perfume like stink which was unbearable for Chawla and Party. He washed his Goal Post with Bisleri water, the smile was back on the face of Sardarji. The Pressure was gone. The three course chicken diet found its final destination.

Bhatia was back from his Tour de Penance a la Tour de Loo by the side of railway track. As he tightened his buckle , he promised himself he wont ever compete with Party when it comes to coaxing the tummy with chicken. As they walked back the three of them wondered…
Where is Addy lost in this fiasco?

As they made soft and noiseless entry late in the night to the Raagamallika Apartments, they found the Bed Room’s door ajar and light switched off. The Air Conditioner had taken its full effect and the room was extremely cold. Party slowly entered the room and found Addy laid there violently shaking over his tummy. For a moment Party presumed Addy is under some fit and thought of rushing to a doctor.
Goodness Gracious!! But there is some sound of kisses being blown in the air…What’s going on??

As always anything out of the worldly behavior often attracted Party’s consciousness. He moved closer to see the face of Addy in the darkness, trying to unravel mystery of his violent movements and kissing-like-sound. Just as he was within a striking distance, Addy’s one long arm flung across Party’s neck and shoulder, grabbing him firmly.

I love You…Sweet Heart…Lets make Love!! Addy’s sleepy voice hissed

AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!.... Party shrieked at the top of his voice

Both Bhatia and Chawla came rushing in. Addy quickly got violent surge to push him out of his dreams and get fully awake. The Lights were switched on..
What’s the matter!! The thunderous voice of Chawla and Bhatia bellowed in resonance. The smiling and blushing face of Party greeted them .

“ Nothing yaar…I thought Mr AD had got some wrong intentions!!!”

Meanwhile Addy adjusted his cover sheet and his blushing red cheeks and wet pants said the story.

“Yaar… I was dreaming about Pamela Anderson in my bed room!!”

For days the rest three spent sleepless / half asleep night fearing Addy’s nightly adventurous dream might not land them in Gay’s Club!! Often the flinging arms and soft kissing voice raised hackles to the likes of Chawla and Party…