What Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna failed to convey..

Marriage in Indian society is seen as an honored responsibility, a family obligation, extension of social ties, in some cases a fruitful conclusion of long revered love and more importantly a chance to add a different dimension to one’s personality where sacrifice and flexibility should rule over one’s ego , self centeredness and his/her own happiness. The ancient Upanishads and Vedas saw Grihashtya life as the one where a person has the opportunity to pay back to family and society in large by practicing all teachings and values of Brahmacharya life in real world. Perhaps these inculcated values that have passed on through generations are one of the primary reasons why Indian marriages have high success rate compared to its contemporaries across the globe.


Unfortunately, Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna failed to convey any of the virtues that hold a marriage together or in rather larger perspective any relation for that matter. It might be over sightedness or lack of reality check on part of script writer to convey what he wanted to say. Marriages are definitely made in heaven and more often than not people end up with partners contrary to their expectations, their life style, their thinking, and their personality. It could be seen as a divine test of character whether one can find fruits amidst the adversity. Yet if one starts pricking his partner’s self respect time and again, test his/her patience and more importantly starts creating a gulf of mistrust and hatred , I suspect whether he would ever live happily with any one else.


By glorifying the cause of two protagonists – Maya and Dev- who seemed totally at wrong pedestal, the script writer has failed to understand the very essence of any relationship. To start with the character of Maya, a somber, melancholic girl who sees darkness even in bright sunlight never ever thought beyond the confines of her self centeredness. In form of Rishi she had the best husband one could ever wish to have- Loving, charming, adjustable and more importantly able to ignore her fallacy and shortcomings. Yet for some unknown reasons which hardly seemed convincing she never gets along with Rishi. It is beyond anybody’s comprehension what exactly she wanted. Right from the day of her marriage, she shows signs of cribbing, apprehensiveness and anxiety which perhaps any newly bride would encounter. Most of them take this as a passing phase and wish for a better future. The character of Maya never seemed to get over this emotional conflict through out her married life for some eerie reasons. Was it her immaturity or was she never ever emotionally strong to get married? These thought kept floating in nebular silhouette of Maya.

The ultimate test of any relation is how you can share happiness and sorrow alike of your partner. There was couple of instances where Maya showed how weak her emotional quotient is. When Rishi’s father throws a party, rather than behaving as a daughter of the family and getting actively involved in the celebration, Maya prefers to draw herself in reclusive world. Definitely it’s upon ones own taste whether he/she likes socializing, party etc. But what her family just wanted was her bubbly presence which she never understood. Besides that at the moment of greatest tragedy when Rishi’s father expires and he was at his emotionally weakest point, Maya prefers to cut loose the Pandora box when the situation demanded her to be standing by the side of Rishi.

There are umpteen moments when one lets down his or her partner, breaks the trust and stray out of the way. Yet there has to be an understanding to learn the difference between hiding and bluffing – especially when the situation demands so. The situation demanded Maya to support her husband at the moment of crisis, dump her past in some closet and start afresh. And here is where the characterization of a woman fails. Any woman is far stronger emotionally and mentally to sustain the trauma at time of adversity. She is the one who takes the onus to face the calamity which strikes her family and relation. Without uttering many things she conveys the persona of fortitude and strong will. Here is where Maya never resembles a woman that we know in our society. Rishi’s marriage was not a failure, he married a failed person, and probably he was better off getting rid of her.


Perhaps, Dev’s character was more to realism considering a male ego which more often than not can’t see his partner as more successful. Yet his constant nagging and trite on Riya or for that matter even on Maya showed there was always a diabolical intent in his personality. Riya took the responsibility of the family for the good when Dev was crippled. Yet Dev demanded something which no body could understand. What exactly he wanted? Riya’s rebuttal on Dev’s remark that she is not a caring mother best exemplified her sensibility and level headedness. Dev couldn’t see the sacrifice she was making personally and professionally. It was not about Maya that drew him close to her. In fact his infidel state of mind could have got hold of anybody available in the proverbial park.


Even under professional pressure Riya was more willing to work out her marriage, do her bit in every aspect and help out Dev. But Dev seemed to get bored with her after spending so many years that he couldn’t find love and affection in what Riya was doing for him. He was not only responsible for breaking his relation but also instigated Maya to forfeit her responsibilities. His clandestine motive was probably evident only in the eyes of Rishi’s father. I suspect whether he would have ever continued his relation with Maya far more than a “Spring” season. Such people are the most dangerous species for not only a family but for any relation. They roam around the streets in clothes of sheep, wearing mistrust on their sleeves. Riya’s final subjugation lie in her words when she tells Maya that Maya would understand the true meaning of sufferings when she will start living with Dev.

Finally by allowing the union of both Maya and Dev – the scriptwriter has allowed a nebular conclusion to follow. Was it right on the part of Maya to leave Rishi at the moment of crisis? Was it correct on Dev’s part to follow the same path which forced the situation that he had to be kicked out of the house? And finally was Maya’s character so fickle and weak that she would allow the proceedings which broke her family, her marriage, and her happiness to overwhelm her? None of this could we all comprehend.

As a last word, those who believe that you should marry only whom you love, fail to understand one very facet of life. This love, affection, infatuation, liking etc is never everlasting. You can keep drooling about your partner’s eyes, his/her persona, his behavior for year or two or may be three. Once it fizzes out after that what? It all boils down to sacrifice, commitments, obligations, reinventing oneself, taking measures to develop new avenues of love, adjustments, flexibility, understanding and more so trust and belief that you won’t get a better partner than this one. Saying love is the only parameter that makes a marriage work is dubious and sacrilege remark on such a sacrosanct institution. Probably the best essence of the film would have been -Never say Alvida to your life partner come what may be.

A toss with a Beer .Swirling Motions behold….

Over the years I have always held a selective prejudice towards alcohol. I believe if someone pays for my drink I shouldn’t hold my wildest urge to get tossed out. On the contrary shelling out even a shilling for a squint towards alcohol would bring out meanest of miser within me, putting even likes of Scrooge to shame. Early college days taught me to ignore the smell and taste, gulp down the acrid solution forcing through the esophagus -.at times just to boast in front of peers that indeed I am manly enough to drink a peg.
Later half showed the way to enjoy every sip of it, albeit on others’ expense – monetarily as well as physically.

There use to be numerous stories doing round of college hostels about certain guys waking up with a splash of beer on their face, using beer to rinse mouth, beer for bath, apparently even plans of filling the water tank on the top of hostel building with gallons of beer and passing an outlet in each of the parched dins of hostel aisle and bay. However, the reality never met my inquisitive eyes and salivating mouth. Outlandish it may seem, yet some guys use to get that extra kick of energy by the smell of beer. The group parties often accounted to famous anecdotes about people on the other spectrum of emotional un-stability.

I can recount my three experiences when couple of pegs drove me to the un-traversed land of fantasy and tranquility. Perhaps then I realized how good a beer or vodka can be when you are looking for a stress buster or adding a Xing to your one-dimensional persona.

On my first trip to Goa, I had controlled aggression towards attacking a mug of beer at shocker of a price; mostly because the seeds of morality and strangled wallet created a double decker huddle. Yet the land of sun, sand and beaches decided to bid me with one last splash to the elusive zone of getting bowled out – mentally .Martin’s – advertised as Sachin’s favorite joint - was the place where we rounded up our sojourn to Goa. The ambience was amazing and adding cherry to the pudding was the presence of Narain Karthikeyan , the then Formula 3 champion from India.

NK had won a car rally that day and apparently there was a party thrown from his sponsors at Martin’s. And as a part of acknowledging NK’s achievement, it was decided that the drink for all the people present at Martin’s will be paid by the benevolent sponsors. For few of us it was a monsoon rainfall on deserts of Sahara. Prior to that those odd rounds of Kingfisher or few Scotch was the maximum I knew about the drinks. That day it all started with Australian beer, followed by Mexican cocktail, topped with Russian Vodka and rounding it off with a French Wine. Metaphorically the world globe was pouring inside the goblet. And after the fifth round of Foster’s Beer , it was game, set and over and out for Addy. I never had prior experience of what it feels like when your senses looses its coherence . That day I sensed myself on the top of a Helicopter, swirling and gyrating at the speed greater than those fans .One moment the kick lifted me upwards, floating in the sky. The next moment I came zooming down like a bungee jumper. The harmonic motion of my adrenaline flow synchronized with every single breath I took.
In- I go upwards: Out- I mellow down
Finally I was carried to the apartment where we stayed.

In the wee hours of the morning my resistance gave up. I spilled over every single drop that I coaxed inside my body. Bucket full of slugs and swamps came rushing through my mouth, nostrils and eyes. The intoxication vanished as quickly as it had gripped me.Whole of next day I was crippled with severe hangover yet the sensation that I experienced last night brought a mischievous grin across my lips.

On another occasion, on my maiden trip by plane, I was overwhelmed by the very atmosphere of Chennai Airport. Those were the days when my credit card was the key to treasure of Monte Cristo. I had read in the card offer that I could avail snacks and drinks free of cost, at the airport lounge. What would have been the better occasion than this to celebrate my maiden trip on Air. Just to ensure that I don’t miss out the dollies , I pumped in couple of extra cans of bear. Now I was ready to fly- free of any anxiety and apprehension.

As my bad luck has always been, here too a woman in mid-fifties and another in early seventies, I presume, was my co-passenger. With nothing much to offer to these ladies in terms of intellect and humor, I decided to pour myself amidst the black sentences of daily newspaper. The occasional kick from the beer in tummy blurred my vision and suggested that I wasn’t in full control of my senses. In the midst of heavy duty world politics news , there was one full page article on World Bikini’s Day.

Man was I reading correct??? Or my senses have indeed got hallucinated???

I had heard of Mother’s day. Father’s day, Women’s day. Flower’s day, even Dog’s Day. But what is this Bikini’s day. The beer kick didn’t loose any time in me jumping on those lines searching for Pamela Anderson, Victoria Streisand or even J Lo. Playing a dampener to my spirits, there wasn’t any spicy stuff written or displayed to set about a humdinger in my fantasy land.

I laid back contemplating about such an august occasion of Bikini’s day. I was hanging there in mid-air where I couldn’t even surf those odd channels of Russian Television where I could truly appreciate the essence of the D Day. I turned my head side ways and found my co-passengers snoring with their head held high. The impish beer didn’t loose its trait. My fantasy broke a new barrier when I starting fancying these two ladies clad in skimpiest bare minimum representing India at World’s Bikini Day across the Bondi Beach in Sydney. I could see those sultry figure competing with rest of the babes running towards me...in an urge to meet my open arms….and then…

Smack!! I suddenly got a hit on my face. The fantasy swirled out into reality. I was back at my seat sitting beside an elderly woman. The effect of beer was gone because of unintentional slap from my co-passenger in her sleepy state. Perhaps she too caught the strong frequencies that the beer effect was sending through my antenna. My Bikini day celebration ended with it.

As the final part of the trilogy with the beer- me and couple of my friends decided to make a short trip to beautiful Pondicherry. The long drive from Madras to Pondi on East Coast Road around midnight is one of the awesome experiences. The cars rocket upwards of 100kph speed, at times loosing contact with the surface because of air gap generated at such high speed.
We reached Pondi around 2 o’ clock in night and immediately went in search for a local beer shop. Finally after handing the pub guard few extra bucks we managed to get hold of couple of bottles. It was enough to make our trip fruitful.

In Pondicherry ,alongside the beaches there are several government offices and of course a big Gandhi ji statue. That day the essence of beer threw kitchen sink against our nationalism. Three of us sat underneath Gandhi ji’s statue and started gulping down those myriads of fantasy and tranquil drops that the bottle carried.

However, the bout didn’t last too long .A local cop saw us, maligning the Father of Nation’s virtue and ideology, barged in.Perhaps his sense of nationalism paid him monetary dividends in huge measure.We had to shell out even the last coin that softly jingled in my back pocket. He drove us out of our senses , out of the beach and out of Pondicherry. Then and there ended our romanticism with the bottle of beer.