The First Year maniacs

Its May,2051AD."Time to pack the bags and proceed for the bigger challenge"..that's what Dean Academic Affairs doled out in "Rukshat" ,the farewell function for final year students.Evening function was jotted with same staple dance and music program with love birds prefering a cosy corner of the audi to discuss their future rather than break their heads on what was happening on stage. The special dinner prepared for the function was worse than the regular mess food...in whole there was not much to cheer about for the members of Bajrang Dal ..those unfortunate/fortunate lot(..as you like to say) who were still deprived from cupid's blessings

People like Rashmi and Maneka preferred a stroll and have a puff along the railway track that bisected the college into two halves...At distant ,the dim light of incoming train personfied the inevitable..The parting of ways. "The Honeymoon is over and the corporate world opens its arms..blah..blah.." echoed the voice of the Dean across the microphone

Rashmi got hold of a high end job in a Bio Tech firm and was moving to LA in last week of May while Maneka got offer from a Sweden based Manufacturing unit..In true sense it was geographical,emotional,physical parting...nothing they could do about it..Both Rashmi and Maneka sat near a signal post,Maneka squeezing the last puff out of the cigarette...The train whistle drew closer and closer...and their Memories became vivid and clearer....... The scorching light of the engine flashed across their eyes, mind,ears.....And....

Year 2047.Its Autumn season and as the Reva,the indigenous Indian taxi,screeched near the entrance of Tagore Hostel(..the first year hostel) a crowd was awaiting Rashmi.Her father was on an official visit to Iraq, she had to come all alone to this college,Motilal Nehru National Institute of Technology.Rashmi secured 113 rank in AIEEE examination and just manage to get hold of the last seat in Mechanical engineering.She pulled her baggage down from the taxi and waded through the crowd near the warden's office

Rashmi could see that it was anxiety of the parents rather than the students who was driving the warden to crazy limits.The constant queries regarding the hostel allotment,start of classes,mess facilty etc etc...made warden and her caretaker hysterical.Rashmi finally managed to get inside the Warden's room and get hold of the Hostel application form.

At a distance she could see there were rows of table arranged,with a @HelpDesk billboard hanging over it.But there was not a single soul to bestow help at this moment.She realized that the volunteers ,supposedly, seniors of the college were busy grilling a fresher near the corner of a room..

"First year!!!" growled someone over Rashmi's shoulder.Heart beat stopped and pulse started raging faster as she turned back.A muscular,gym tuned frame with trendy Tees and ragged jeans was standing infront of her.There was a cut mark across her eye brow and her clumsy curly hair suggested that she is just back having a brawl with someone.

"Yes..Mam!"...

"You rascal..how you dared looking in my eyes..."She barked."How come you exist in this world.You filth...dont you know that you should show respect to your Mom"

Rashmi wondered whether she actually showed disrespect to her mom..last time when she left her house in Merrut..She touched her feet..took her blessings..promised her that she will page her once she reaches Allahabad...How come this bloke drew the conclusion.

"Follow me!!" commanded the girl to Rashmi and marched past her towards an isolated room.

Rashmi followed her with the application form still dangling in her hands..She had heard of something called ragging but didnt have any clue what was in store for her.

They both entered into a dark hall,where in one corner an old tattered table tennis borad was placed and adjacent to the entrance door was a television with plugs and wires hanging all over the place.Magazines and newspaper spread all over the floor. There was something that resembled carrom board on the far corner of the room but of late had become nest for spiders and moths.Across the wall something was scribbled with a Paint which suggested the name "Common Room"

"Intro?"...demanded the girl.

"My name is Rash...."...bang!!!... before she could finish the sentence she was hit flat on her face by ,what probably was, a metal palm..Instantly a drop of teared rolled down her eyes..

.
"Who will the ask for permission...you slimey old creature?"...raged The Predator.

"Madam..can i have y..yo..your pp..pppermission to introduce myself?"...

"Thats more like it...day by day these firsties are forgetting the manners"...declared the tormentor

"Permission Granted!!" said the girl with a sense of satisfction and pride

"Mam,my name is Rashmi Agarwal and my date of birth is 22 July,2034".

"I got 113 rank in AIEEE..and"...bannng!!!...this time the slap came from the other side...few more drops of tear rolled down the innocent eyes of Rashmi

"Didnt your dad teach your mom.... while reproducing you as a burden on this earth.... that NEVER utter the Acronymns while giving the intro!!!"fumed the boss

"Sorry....m...mam"

"I g..got 113 rank in M...m...Mechanical Engineering and I got All India Engineering Entrance Examination as my branch"....

"What???"......saying this the girl started laughing hysterically

"Sorry...sorry mam!!!"

"Hmm..so another daughter of Vivek Chandra??...You know who is VC?"

"No..mam"...sobbed Rahmi..her eyes fixed at her toes

"Well VC has screwed all the women of Allahabad and produced filths like you...he is HOD of Mech Deptt"

"So who is your father.....??"

"Rajat Agarwal"

Chaatttaaaaaaak!!!!!!!!!! another slap

"Didnt i tell u about VC...you are his illegal daughter!!!!...so who is your father??"

Within minutes the girl had changed the genetics,parentage,pedigree...everything that Rashmi resembled of in this world.

"V..Vivek Chandra"...thats more like it...

"Thats more like a good girl!!"...said the girl wryly"Enough of blabbering about your history..need to test your aptitude as an engineer.."

"Yes...mam" whimpered Rashmi

"Okies...babe...what about having a vivid description of my love..my dream date Jaden Agassi...Imagine him to take bath fully bared...and describe his contours in fully mechie terms''

Rahmi became red like an apple..never she knew that her first class as an engineering will be lewd and brazen...

"I said bark...you b.." shouted the girl

Tears were flowing like stream from her dark eyes...she hesitated and then started..

"Agassi is taking bath..in bathroom..the tap is open..the shower is running and.."

Slapppp!!!...this was the strongest of the four nasty blows that hit Rashmi's soft cheeks..

"Are you narrating a Ramayana or mouthing ugly shit....you fu.."

"What's going on??" before the girl could finsih her whipping,the door of common room burst open .Stood on the doorsteps were chief warden,warden,caretaker and couple of senior girls.

The girl froze then and there itself.."Mam i was just helping her out.."

"What's your name?" inquired chief warden.Chief Warden was a fat old lady with wrinkles all over her forhead..She wore a dark gown along with thick glasses,,Her countenance beamed sterness and discipline from distant itself.

"Maneka...Maneka Sinha" said the girl

"Which year?"

"F..first year ...first year..mam"..stuttered Maneka

"And why this girl is crying?"

"Mam..sh ..she is feeling home sick..isnt it Rasmi?"

For a second Rashmi felt kicking herself for being foxed by a first year then she realized that she has got a golden opportunity to pay back that bitch Maneka for her delinquent act..She can literally give a stronger reply to those four slaps which shook her up..Nobody had dared to touch her in past 17 years..Her mom and dad had brought her up like a delicate flower..and for the first time she was out in this world on her own...such a rude shock...Its time to teach this girl a lesson said her mind..but

"Yes..Yes mam..Maneka is right", said her heart and mouth in sync.

"Then what are you doing here and what was the noise about?" asked chief warden..his temprament now bit mellowed down

"Mam..i had to fill the hostel form and i didnt get a place..Maneka...Maneka showed me this room and was helping me to do the formalities...Sir...i am scared of sp..spider...Maneka was shooing one of them off..the noise came from that only"

"Ok...so have you done with your formalities.." asked the chief warden

"No..mam...i havent been allotted the room" said Rashmi

"Geetanjali ji..check the database and tell me which room is allotted to Rashmi..Rashmi what??
"Rashmi Agarwal..mam"

The caretaker took out the PDA(..portable database administrator)..and announced Room No 137.B-wing

"You both can leave now" announced the chief warden and dismissed the proceedings

As the gathering dispersed and Rashmi strolled towards the door.."Thanks..thanks Rashmi" words echoed in her ears.She turned around to face Maneka who was standing apologetically.
"I am really sorry Rashmi" said Maneka

"Better leave..the place and dont ever come in front of me or you gonna get a spanking from me" fumed Rashmi

"That I can't do"

"What??"..barked Rashmi

"That I can't do....I can't remove my bodily parts from your proximity"

"Why...??"Rashmi moved forward in menancing fashion

"Coz...I am your Room Mate..My room is also 137 B-wing"

"Shucks...I can't believe this...I am gonna get it changed" Rashmi said irresistably

"Hey Rashmi..I am not that bad yaar...nobody will stay with me mate...i am ready to pay for my mischief....you can hit me any where..."Saying this Maneka turned her back towards Rashmi and positioned herself so that Rashmi could hit her"

Even with so much hatred filled in her mind...Maneka's action brought a wide grin in her face..

She cluthced her hand and said "Hi..Rashmi Agarwal from Merrut....Intro??"

"Mam...Maneka Sinha from Patna,Bihar..." said Maneka with a smile

Rashmi gave a soft slap on her cheek and said " Is this the way to show respect to your Mom"
They both had a hearty laugh and dragged their luggage and bedding towards Room 137 B-wing..What followed next was four years of strong bond of friendship between the two..

Of Reversal in sex ratio and surviving in Women Fiefdom For those who are still aloof of harrypottersque mania and wondering what does "horacruxinmind" stands for.Shed off your inhibitions and enrich your Potter voabulary.Horacruxes are one of the ways to make yourself immortal.And by replicating this blog as a "Pensieve" another Potter lingua franca :-):-) ... i am trying to make weirdos like me immortal. Too much of high funda stuff...:-P....Better, lets get back to the title of the blog.How come a feminine title figured in a blog which last night itself eulogized a great literary figure(...no hidden meanings intended).To be frank through these lines i am narrating one of secret desires which i had held for long time. Trying to survive in the world where women is in majority :-). Quite scary yet enthralling.For the obvious reasons that the skewed sex ratio of Indian population cant be better examplified than in Engineering College.Where girls are few and far between the crowd of boys and only boys.I guess Adam Smith the greatest economist never thought of such improbable Demand/Supply ratio while coining the word Deficit:-).World looks upto engineering grad as one to create new options and opportunities.Here the poor fellow cant even generate one(..obviously a girl) for his survival. One night i earnestly prayed God that the sex ratio of this world be reversed.And what followed next was a ...... Bang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Zoooooooooooom!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fast forward 2050 AD.National Institute of Technology,Allahabad(...couldnt dream about any other better place)..Dotted by structural frames,this campus which once used to be green and nature's delight has become an architectural jungle.With more hostels and more buildings sprouting inside the campus. In the one isolated corner of a room of historical Tilak hostel on a sultry night Rashmi was busy scribbling through the tutorial sheets while Menaka was puffing a cheroot next to the door egging Rashmi to finish the work faster so that she can do the "taaping" work with elegant proficiency.Times havent changed much.when Rashmi's mom and Menaka's father were the students of this prestigious college.Still those Rajma Roti prevails the cuisine of Mess.And still those synchronized blackouts initiated by Electricity board during examination comes to haunt one and all. More so with more harmonic switching on/off power supply during normal days the sweating pheonmenon has touched a new zenith. The room had a mystic aura about it with the puff of cheroot making it more intimidating.Boyie magazines spreadeagled all over the place..while a full blown hot stuff was running in full throttle on the Kampu...Rashmi's computer or dabba or Kampu as she prefers calling was considered the richest in the hostel with latest "pondies"(..you know what :-))..loaded.In far corner of the room Daniel Cruise the grandson of yesteryear hertthrob Tom Cruise brazenly displaying his body in full length poster ,decorated the wall. In the third floor of the hostel there was some fracas going on... Alka strolling in her skimpiest shorts was mouthing profanities at top of her voice..directed towards Maneka.Over past few weeks her undies were mysteriously disappearing from her wardrobe...and someone leaked the word that it was Maneka who is the culprit. On the side of the first floor balcony Radhika (..or Rads as her gang calls her) and her stooges were busy oogling at any guy passing by the roadside street.More so, one of them got hold of a binocoulars to view "hot happenings" inside the adjoining housing colonies.Of late they had been eyeing couple of hunks who shifted in the quarter at stone throw distance from Tilak hostel. "This f**ker Alka needs a kick in her butt'...groaned Maneka."The bitch hasnt realised that i wont clean even a shit with her filthy undies"..That was some statement grinned Rashmi . Both Rashmi and Maneka were the best pals since the first year.Now in the third year of their majors in Mechanical,they both have fallen for same Tronix(...Electronics) guy Sahil. That has created a bit of tiff between the two.But lately they both came to compromise that whoever manages to woo Sahil first will get the pie,other will facilitate the happenings,remove the glitches and move out of way. Sahil..one of the most talked about guys in entire third year finally had a date with Rashmi in OCC (..or Old College Canteen) .And that was no mean achievement considering number of proposals he already received.Since then Rashmi has been feeling six inches taller and have become a sore of the eye for likes of Rads and Alka....Bastard must have got ready to bed with her....scowled both of them Tonight she is furiously scribbling the notes because Sahil wants it urgently.After finishing the work she xeroxed one copy for Maneka from the roadside Kajal photocopier.The shop which once was crammed into a single room has bloomed into a multi storeyed building with each floor catering the needs of specific year...During end sem..this is the hottest joint in and around the college.God bless the inventor of Xerox machine who faciliated the production of top notch engineers year after year... Around half past nine,when the cramming and creaking of gates of NBH(..New Boys Hostel) starting echoing the environs of college ,Rashmi dressed her self with strongest deos and gels to meet Sahil.This was a dangerous proposition considersing the strict measures taken by PB or Proctorial Board(..disciplinary board).She managed to hoodwink the guards and was now lying flat on Sahil's bed."You must not have come like..you could get caught...think about your future..." Sahil spluttered out all in one go..his prespiration examplified his anxiousness...while Rashmi was cool as cucumber.."Relax dude...those cheerkoot son of the guns will never ever be able to catch me..i betcha...You just get chilled..and tell me what are the plans for Culrav". "I think i will be with some of my friends from Allahabad Agriculture college...The girls from that college are very decent"...Hell broke loose on Rashmi...all through these days she slogged day in day out so that she could escort Sahil on dance floor..now this bugger wants to move around with third grade college scums. "But...Sahil why cant you be with me in cultural fest...see i have brought this aloo-paraatha for you from NCC(..new college canteen)..See i brought this card for you." "Rashmi...we are just good firends yaar..and i always thought as you a good person...I cant move around with you in college...your gang will pass comment..."...As if i am asking him to get jagged publicly....Frowned Rasmi... "Rashmi you should now leave...i am feeling sleepy..tomm i have got tutorials..".....Without uttering a word Rashmi left NBH.That night Rashmi and Maneka boozed massively.Both at their devilish best...cursing and abusing any guy that came in their mind..... Two days later college was buzzing with Cultural festival fever...As expected most of the guys were already booked..Rashmi and Maneka decided to pass the day blissfully sleeping,boozing and fagging...after all there was no use getting frustrated seeing bunch of jokers dancing as couple on juke floor. 'Let's go and see some hunks from Agri college...i am getting bugged sitting here whole day.." drooled Rashmi..."Listen dear...when your luck is sucked even dogs give you a duck...thats a old saying...my dad use to say...No use dangling our goodies to the cheap stuffs just relax and chill" "I think time has come to look beyond the options available...just watch the magic tonight" said Rashmi with a wink."The clock will turn back when the guys use to run after girls ..my mom use to tell stories when she was hot cake in the college...i will conjure the same magic"..Saying this,she vanished in bathroom leaving Maneka completely baffled. After an hour the girl who stood infront of Maneka was hottest chick she had seen for long long time giving even a studd like her bit of goose bumps."Gee...never knew you were HOT!!..you planned something big today i guess" Both Rashmi and Maneka walked towards college auditorium were the loud music,screaming,laughter convulsed into one big cacophony. As they entered the entrance of hall..."Look that sexy!!!"....somebody said from sidelines...Rashmi turned to find Sahil standing there surrounding with his lot. "Rashmi will dance with me tonight.........." And what followed rest of the night was history.. Maneka meanwhile got hooked to an Agri guy ...both turned out be big time boozer and faggers....and damn cared about whats happening around them "When you make your luck...even the Guys wont give you a duck".....blurted Maneka

Rendezvous with Satyajit Ray Right from my college days I have hold Bengalis in high esteem when it comes to intellect profile.More often than not I had been simply mesmerized by their passion to acquire knowledge and more knowldge about the world in and around us.And i can bet my last tooth on the quantum data that an average bengali holds in his brain,which can give rest of Indians a run for the money. Make no mistake in inferring that this blog is of the bengali,for the bengali and by the bengali.Rather its a tribute to the society who most often than not is been clubbed as cowards or at best submissive.Notwithstanding our very own DADA revoloutionsed the way Indians played their cricket from being a good looser to a swaggerful aggressor. One of my closest buddies in college days used to be a bengali,ankur chakraborty.In his comapany it was a humble and delightful experience to just have a peek into the world of bengali literature.Prior to that only notable name that echoed my mind as bengali literary figure was that of Rabindra Nath Tagore.But when i started reading the translated versions of the bengali literature,I was overwhelmed by the rich pedigree that they carry. One of the most fascinating writers i came across was Satyajit Ray.A person whose nebular description in my mind was that of a film director and Oscar award winner.But to say he was a Leanardo Da Vinci of Bengal wont be an overstatement.Apart from being a film personality,he was a writer, painter,musician and an avid photographer.The first work of Ray that caught my imaginations was that of Feluda series of Adventures. Feluda ,the sleuth, whose character was loosely inspired by the legendary Sherlock Holmes.But the similarity ends here itself.After that its the sublime quality of Satyajit Ray in weaving a spell binding story.What sets apart these novels are that they are more than a collection of detective stories,in a way its an odyssey to the greater mystery called India. Each novel is set into one of the scenic locales of this vast geographia of India.And through the storyline you are in for an adventurous ride across the length and breadth of the region. The first story that i read in Feluda series was "The Golden Fortress".Set in desert kingdom of Rajasthan,through out the story Ray potrays a vivid description of history,culture and tourist destination across Rajasthan.From Jaipur to Udaipur to Jaiselmer.It turns out be a good Travelogue.Such was the impact of his writing that when i actually went to Rajasthan form Udaipur palace to Jaipur market to camel ride in Jaiselmer those words of the novel kept ringing in my ear and examplified my experience. Apart from the stories of Feluda,Satyajit Ray wrote several short stories for Anand Bazaar Patrika(the first vernacular newspaper of India).His stories had the mystic aura were the real world meets the supernatural events.And it lives an uneasy buzz in your heart where you too starts accepting the possibilty of non-ordinary powers.These stories where later published in form of a book called "Indigo". Satyajit Ray was director,producer,musician,editor,script writer and truly a doyen of Bengal society. My first blog pays rich tribute to such an idol who inspires me to write more.